Hope.

Usually before writing a blog, I have some idea of what i am going to talk about. This time however, all  I have is plenty of time and the spirit to free my emotions.
I'm back in Pakistan for my summer vacations, and everything is going pretty well, other than the usual glitches(I understand that a glitch is an understatement for the given scenarios, but my somewhat patriotic nature doesn't allow me to be anymore harsh). I have also recently come in terms with someone i have wanted to talk to for a very long time. so far so good eh?? Not really!! i'm not being ungrateful. As a matter of fact, my fake attempts at being modest in the past, have actually had a great impact on my life, and i can't thank GOD enough for his blessings. I do feel as though, my disappearance from home and society in Pakistan have created a certain void, which is proving hard to fill. I'm not certain if this is because of my introvert nature, or because i have genuinely missed some memory making experiences. most of my blogs have not discussed my private life..Not because anyone else is interested, but because of the fact that I myself might regret something i have written today, in the future. This blog may not say much for someone reading it, but it definitely forms a memory for me that i can look back to in the future, and hope that I was being apprehensive for no reason at all. 

Restless!

Have been in a state of restlessness recently. I have somehow started to deviate from my responsibilities. I wouldn't say that I am wasting my time or anything, but i have repeatedly failed in completing my recent tasks. I would not satisfy myself by blaming all this on to others, I believe that it is absolutely my fault and I have managed to have the confidence and guts to stand up to it. Maybe the reason to my restlessness is that i have changed my personality to a great extent, unwillingly of course. Only recently have I understood, that what I thought of as a cultural change was actually a BIG TRANSITION taking place in my life. Yes i have managed to become more confident and more aware about my surroundings, but at the same time I have also become mischievous. I have somehow learned to get away from mistakes and agreeing to the fact that what I did was the right thing to do. I completely understand that such actions could have some serious reprecussions in the future, but for a while i am willing to let go. This could be because of the fact that these years could be the last years of my lif when i could have a life of freedom and make decisions which wouldn't really effect anyone other than myself. I don't want anyone to misconceive my statement, and assume that this will lead to a change in my personality. I guess like everyone, I want to get away from the real world for a while and live life a little. Its not too late until reality knocks on my door and wakes me up from my dream.