Reality or fantasy!

Talked to an old friend today after a long time, she made me realise that my pessimistic approach to life may not be as wrong as i think it is! yes, it is not good to go against the norms of the world and develop a separate space for you and your ideologies, but somewhere in my subconscious mind I realised that I am different. I have no intention of being a leader, but at the same time I don't want to be known as a follower of ideas which i believe are unethical. Competition teaches you a lot in life and makes you overcome your flaws, however you cannot define something as competition if the sole purpose of it is to demoralise someone. I wouldn't call my self an antagonist, but I cannot support someone just on the basis of popularity or fame. My philosophy seems very ambiguous for now, but I would soon present a solution for it.

Private, conservative or Secret!

I've never been someone who has opposed change, but at the same time i would prefer to stay away from it. I do realise that it all sounds confusing and vague, but it is all a part of my quest to find myself..where do I fit? is a question that i have asked myself many times and have constantly failed to find the answer. The title of my blog are three words which can pretty much define my life, in very different ways ofcourse! I've always been known as a person who can manipulate a situation very quickly and someone who is very confident in confronting people. I would call this as my defence mechanism. At certain times I have tried to stay of reality as much as I can, so i can enjoy moments of bliss. This does not suggest that my life is a struggle, I am very happy and could not thank GOD more, but i have realised that I am different. I have been two faced all my life, now in a deceptive way, I would never do that, but in a way where i could have the comfort of living my life they way I want, While living upto everyone else's expectation. My greatest desire is to have a peaceful life, which I can enjoy with my loved one's without having to answer anyone else. After all, it is above all by the imagination that we achieve perception and compassion and hope.

Satisfied!?

My Grandmother is in england, and i am in milton keynes to spend sometime with her and the rest of the family. I was sitting today by myself thinking about life, which is not something unusual for me. I have a habit of thinking about different things related to my life and how if they were not there, my life could have been very different. Thinking about everything i realised that, i personally don't thank God for what i have i always fine some excuse by which i can prove that my life is not perfect. Why is that! I have a perfect family Mashallah, i eat more than the usual 2 times a day, i have been given the opportunity to chase my dream by studying in one of the best university. Is it because of human nature or do i have to fill this void by striving even harder. This is a question that i can't answer right now. maybe I am waiting for an experience which would give me my answer or something else, I would probably just have to wait for it. one thing i know is that, this feeling inside me cannot be defined as greed. To be honest, even though all this still seems very vague I think i want to give more to life rather than take something from it. For now all I can say is that I take life as it comes and will continue to do the same in the hope that one day I will find my answer and it will be close to what i expect it to be.

P.S I know I make some grammar mistakes, this is mainly because of the lack of time!

Drifting Away!!

I sometime's feel that we as humans are the most selfish race on this planet. All we really care about is ourself, we show that we really care abut something but inside us its just another way making ourself look good. for example before i came to england, i prayed every night telling ALLAH how much england is important for me and that i would pray everyday if i get the opportunity of studying here! What happened? nothing...all i am left with is a feeling of shame and disgust all my promises have changed into lies. I would be a stupid if i consider these lies as something common, because lying to GOD is like lying to yourself and yes i may say that i have realised how wrong was and from this day onwards i would stand up to my commitment and do as i said. What i have learnt from being independent is to prove yourself, to yourself. What i mean to say is that enough of the look at me i am so nice bullshit!! Someone yesterday told me that if  stand up to your beliefs even your enemies would respect you for that. I consider that to be absolutely true. Why do i desire the best life when i myself don't strive to achieve it. There is a famous quote which says that 'Promises are like babies:  easy to make, hard to deliver.' i'm in the race to prove that its wrong. I will try to make sure that i stand for what i believe in and if i have to be selfish, Than i would be selfish regarding the promises i make. from now on I will try to make one person say, that Asher is a man of his word!

commitment!?!

Even though there aren't a lot of people who read my blog,in fact i'm sure no one will even realise that i have written something new until i tell it to them,I myself feel as i am cheating myself.I felt so comfortable while writing my blogs and always felt as i have achieved something new. My life definitely has changed in the past month i have moved on from being a completely dependent guy who lived with his parents,to a very self dependent guy who moved to another country in order to peruse his dream of getting good education. I wouldn't lie before coming to the UNITED KINGDOM i always took it as something that everyone does and didn't consider it as something that would change my life so much! i have seen a major difference in my life where in Pakistan i used to say that i'm very busy,over here i actually am. Life definitely runs two steps ahead of you and trust me if you are not used to this,its very hard to catch it. I have lived a life where i had my own car,my own cook and driver even a house where i lived alone,but to be honest i have never felt so responsible in my life. I feel much more active there I have this burning desire inside me to explore something new to achieve something much higher than my capabilities . Yes,i do miss my home a lot there hasn't been a single day when i didn't sit at the corner of my room and smile on the wonderful things i have experienced with friends and family.but,I know that this is what i chose,this is what i want the only person who would benefit from all of this is me! and i have to prove it. one more thing that i have realised here is that i have a very diversified personality i can be one or even ten persons at the same time. I know I sound like a lunatic but its true. even though i do get along with everyone i haven't been able to find really good friends i do respect everyone and maybe its my fault maybe i have given them the wrong vibe,maybe i am not good enough,or maybe i am used to the pakistani friendship where if someone calls you a friend they mean it. It would be wrong if i say much because,i am still like a newborn who is learning the different rituals of the world. I know this blog was a little personal will try to touch the different aspects of life and give my opinion on them. and, everyone who is reading this. I Love You guys it just took me sometime to realise it!

Where is the love??

I'm aware of the fact that I'm still very new to the blog world,and I've already started to take breaks. Actually I have decided that I would be blogging two times a week from now on so I can some up with new topics,and it would also give me the time to research on that particular subject.
Even though I'm a big fan of black eyed peas and there song 'where is the love' I'm afraid that I wouldn't be talking about that. Haha!! After that bad joke I would like to come back on the topic. Today's issue is something I've experienced very often. My mother tells me how she and all her family members,even the extended family would go everywhere together and used to share a lot of fun moments. If we think logically we can understand that it is really true and not something made up by her. Have you ever noticed how our uncle and aunts are so happy when they meet each other and they really like spending time with each other,and would also call each other after short intervals. I'm afraid today's generation doesn't fall in the same line. We are always trying to find a way out when it comes to meeting relatives,or anyone else for that matter. The main reason for this is 'class conflict' many of you may not agree to what I've said,but alas its true the youth wouldn't want to meet anyone who is below there status. They,for some very stupid reason feel embarrassed. Such things should be unacceptable by the parents but,they also don't want to teach their child.
Another thing that I hate these days is when someone tries to push you to a limit where you would burst with anger,and than they would pretend as if they have nothing to do with it. My mind fails to understand,that why people tend to do such things. It may show a bad image of the other person for a short period of time, but eventually people will be aware of the reality. Not only will you loose a friend,but it will ruin the most precious treasure you have got,your respect.
Don't expect to get anything,before you learn the art of giving. I hope this helps us in a positive way and if we manage to change these few things we will see a big difference in our personality. I'll keep on writing on such social issues,even if I don't get recognition.

7th january, its about time!!

I would began by saying thankyou to my mother,even though she doesn't have great knowledge about the blogs I am writing but she still has been someone who has always pushed me,so that I can really find my potential. And same is the case here she has been backing me to write more and have also been giving me good ideas on which I could debate and ofcourse,by researching on that particular topic it would also help me enhance my knowledge.
Today's topic is something on which I have bin wanting to talk about for a long time. Yes,I know that it sounds rude but as I will talk about it,my idea will become more clear to you. what is the first thought that comes to your mind when I say the word 'girl' I'm sure many of you go gaga in yourself even if you don't show it,and its really nothing to be astonished about. Attracted towards the opposite sex is quiet normal and,its always the main topic in any teenage group. So,am I writing this blog telling you about how boys are attracted to girls?!? Haha NO!! My point is that there should be a certain limit to such things especially in the kind of society we are living in. It is an undeniable fact that whatever we do we in some way or the other would be thinking about girls. The problem that comes here is that all this fuss leads us to being more desperate(yes,its the honest truth). and what happens next is something we don't want,we seem to lose chivalry. As soon as the battle of getting more girl friends start we start taking them as granted and would adopt unacceptable manners in order to get them. Another thing that I came across is that if,only once you show interest it seems that you're bound forever. That is the only thing that people will talk about. And if somehow a girl is not interested in a relationship,MAN!! She will be disgraced in front of everyone all her life.
the subject that I'm trying to bring forward right now is that,guys please gone are the days when dating 5 girls was cool. Please,try to be chival. 'Give respect and get respect' its that easy. And if any of your friend or you yourself are interested in sports,business,studies other than girls. Its better to present yourself as someone you are,than act as someone you're not. I really think that this is becoming a more serious issue of the modern era and we should understand its sensitivity before its to late.
I will keep updating with much more issues like these even if I don't get recognition.